Shia LaBeouf - Dark And Dangerous In London

Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

image for Shia LaBeouf - Dark And Dangerous In London
Buffty Ginslinger's Local Pub - Opening Time. With Buffty Ginslinger Out Of Shot.

Actor Shia LaBeouf has revealed that he has a really dark side to reporters recently. His comments that he's mainly negative about things in a rock'n'roll star way have been devoured by the American media.

But here in the UK, we already knew that, because our contact, Buffty Ginslinger had spent all day with LeBeouf a few weeks ago, exploring some of London's less celebrated watering holes.

The pair met up in a bar at Euston Station, which is usually frequented by Glaswegian pimps enjoying a pint or five of heavy. And Buffty Ginslinger was impressed.

Our man described LeBeouf as 'not very impressive in a physical sense' but said that the young American walked the walk and talked the talk as effectively as any British hard-case.

According to Buffty Ginslinger, Shia LeBeouf appeared to have modelled his appearance that day on former Oasis frontman and City supporting gobshite Liam Gallagher, going so far as wearing a parka and putting on a Manc accent.

LeBeouf had only been in the bar for a minute or so, when following introductions he threatened to 'deck' a little bloke who was wearing glasses. Then he announced that he was a real badass who hated the world and everybody in it.

Especially the little bloke in the glasses.

This behaviour pretty much set the tone for the day as Buffty Ginslinger recoiled at the actor's aggressive antics.

Which only tailed off when he confronted a big Irish chap in a bar in Clapham, who was not intimidated. The big Irish chap allegedly offered to relocate LeBeouf's face to the back of his head, snap his spine in two and stick a traffic cone up his arse.

LeBeouf kindly declined the offer, explaining that he was an actor researching a role for a new Guy Ritchie production. The big Irish chap suggested that LeBeouf research his role elsewhere lest he do some anatomical research of his own.

The rest of the day passed off without incident.

Apart from Buffty Ginslinger falling flat on his face on Praed Street in the vicinity of Paddington Station.

Nobody was injured in the typing of this story.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more