Prince Harry and Di Canio team up in pop duo

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Friday, 14 January 2005

image for Prince Harry and Di Canio team up in pop duo
Harry - new singing sensation

Prince Harry and Italian soccer star Paolo Di Canio are to team up to record a cover version of the Rolling Stones' seventies smash hit "Brown Sugar."

The new version, to be released next month, will be retitled "Brown Shirter".

Both men have upped their public profiles recently by lending their support to global anti-fascist campaigns.

Last weekend Prince Harry wore an armband with a Chinese peace sign on it in respect for the millions of people who have been killed under fascism.

And last week, Di Canio sent a warm glow through thousands of Italian football fans after the Rome Derby by comically impersonating failed dictator Benito Mussolini.

Public relations guru Max Clifford said the new single would up both men's profiles as they sought to endear themselves to the public.

"Harry is increasingly showing his maturity by smoking cannabis, shagging birds, getting lashed up, brawling with photographers outside swanky London nightclubs and dressing up as a Nazi stormtrooper," he said. "In fact if he wasn't going into the army, I'm sure he'd make a fantastic Premiership footballer."

Italian sports journalist Matteo Calcetta described Di Canio as a great role model: "He started off as a terrace hooligan before moving into referee abuse interspersed with the occasional playing of football."

Music experts discounted theories that the Prince's alleged lack of intelligence could hold him back in his new career in the record industry.

"The young prince has a great stage presence and won't be intimidated by performing in public," said A&R talent scout Beetspa Minnit. "He's also got a lot of nous about him - if you want to make it in this game, you have to lie, cheat and get other people to pass all those stiff examinations for you."

Harry and Di Canio will be kick-starting their tour in the little known Polish village of Osweciem before moving onto bigger name venues such as the Berlin Olympic Stadium and Baroness Thatcher's home in Finchley.

Security is expected to be tight for the whole tour - photographic agencies keen on covering the concerts have rushed to hire themselves bodyguards for protection.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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