Glenn Beck Says That Ricky Martin Should Be Gender Tested

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Glenn Beck Says That Ricky Martin Should Be Gender Tested
Ricky Martin shown at Clay Aiken's Valentine's Day Military Costume Party.

NEW YORK CITY - National TV Talk Show Host Glenn Beck stated on his TV program that the ex-Menudo singer Ricky Martin should be gender tested now that he has come out of the Queen Elton John Honorary Closet.

Beck said that he has always felt that when someone opts to come out there could always be that distinct possibility that the individual could conceivably be something than what he is perceived to actually be.

Glenda, as his next door neighbor calls him, said that the reason for gender testing is not to embarrass anyone.

He pointed out that the reason for gender testing is merely to establish that the person in question is not just simply trying to pull a fast one.

Beck said that there have been documented cases where a male will get 30 percent off on female hair items, feminine hygiene products, makeup items, or navel oranges.

Beck said that he recalls when Clay Aiken first came out after denying it for 5 or more years he flat out refused to take the gender test. And it is interesting because on a machismo scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most manly, or macho looking, Ricky Martin is a 9, whereas Clay Aiken is a 2½.

It is common knowledge that just about every gay and lesbian who comes out immediately agrees to take the National Gender Test or NGT. Ellen DeGeneres took it, Lance Bass took it, Adam Lambert took it and Rosie O'Donnell took it. In fact Rosie took it twice, because she supposedly cheated on the first one.

In other news. Tiger Woods was asked why none of the 12 members of his "GolfGate" 'Score Card Cuties' had any tattoos whereas all of Jesse James' "TattooGate" 'Cycle Chicks' had them. Tiger smiled and said, "Well I guess that my white bitches are a little bit more classier than Jesse's white bitches ya know what I'm sayin'?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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