Written by Mark

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Ricky Martin Gay - Who's Next?
Livin' la vida homo!

Raving poofter Ricky Martin has finally taken his balls out of his mother's purse and admitted that he is gay.

In a career spanning three decades, the spineless lothario was all the time living la vida homo, but never admitting to it; instead he has been keeping his female fans loca for a taste of his spicy Puerto Rican sausage, and capitalizing on their feminine insecurity.

Although not really a surprise, the way that Martin was able to keep the secret under the radar for so long has had many analysts questioning just how many other celebrities could be keeping more than just their suits 'in the closet'.

As a special deal on the back of Martin's 'coming out', Vegas has begun offering odds on other celebrities admitting to their sexual leanings by Christmas, from 50,000:1 long shots such as Paul McCartney and Rod Stewart to even odds on stars such as Justin Timberlake, Robbie Williams and Simon Cowell.

In related news, rumours abound that Elton John could announce he is straight, in protest of Martin's latest career move.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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