Alex Reid to star in Movie based on Katie Price novel

Funny story written by Bill Licks

Saturday, 30 January 2010

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Hollywood - Like Aldershot but not in Hampshire

Things can't get much better for Aldershot's favourite undefeated, but quite often defeated cage fighter right now. Riding on the back of his crushing defeat of the likes of Stephanie Beacham and Basshunter to become the winner of Celebrity Big Brother, Reid is now in talks to play the lead role based on a best-selling book by his missus.

Inspired by current box office hit, Precious - Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, Reid has been earmarked to star in a film to be titled, Push Off - Based on the novel Sapphire by Katie Price.

An insider has revealed 'Right now Alex Reid is the most popular human being in the UK, if not the world so before people like Steven Speilberg start calling him up to star in a remake of E.T. or something, why not help raise the profile of his shy, retiring girlfriend by playing the lead role in an adaptation of one of her classic novels.'

The source continued 'It'll be a challenge for Reid but he's a fighter, an unbeaten fighter too - even though he's been beaten several times. It's the story of a young man who through no fault of his own, is bullied and harassed by evil tabloid journalists. But just when you think there's no hope for our not very clever, orange hero he manages to convince the world to love him by doing lots of press ups and finds salvation in the Lord thanks to the divine intervention of an ex coke addict, sex addict, alcoholic called Steve. But after a couple of weeks of his beaming face appearing on every newspaper and magazine in existence, the public turn against him and demand politely that he pushes off back to where he came from. So he politely obliges and rides off into the horizon whilst his big titted girlfriend runs off with an aging, ex boy band favourite called Duane.'

When questioned if this is actually based on the original novel Sapphire or just a lame attempt to cash in on his fame, the insider replied, 'It's a bit of both, but I've never met anyone who openly admits to have read one of Katie Price's books so no one will be any wiser if the film is nothing like the book.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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