Jon Gosselin Is Dissed Big Time By Ex-Girlfriend Hailey Glassman

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 18 January 2010

image for Jon Gosselin Is Dissed Big Time By Ex-Girlfriend Hailey Glassman
One of Gosselin's girlfriends Connie Crestalini shown wearing a Wal-Mart necklace that Jon paid $14 for.

GREENWICH, Connecticut - Hailey Glassman who until recently was Jon Gosselin's girlfriend hopes that he will be happy with his new girlfriend Morgan Christie.

Glassman who is 22, said that she dumped Jon, former co-star of the reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, because she found out that all he wants to do is to live off of the money of the families of the women he dates.

Hailey's family owns seven collagen factories in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Vermont.

Morgan's family owns nine botox clinics in Vermont, Maine, and Portugal.

Jon says that he cannot help it if women who fall in love with him all just happen to be from families who own factories, clinics, banks, or foot long hot dog franchises.

He says that he is getting sick and tired of reading in publications that he is only attracted to women, who are young, pretty, sexy, and rich.

Jon said that his ex-wife 'King Kate' was not rich. He pointed out that she is now thanks to him and the fact that her lawyer was a whole lot better than his lawyer.

He also said that Kate Major, the girl with whom he cheated on Hailey with, is a just a reporter for the Tinsel Town publication, The Stars In The Hollywood Sky.

Gosselin said that Kate, like Connie Crestalini, is not at all rich. He said that Connie's family is actually on food stamps, but added that Connie, who works as an independent pole dancer is putting money aside to buy her parents their very own mobile home.

Meanwhile Hailey, said that Jon's problem is that he looks in he mirror and he sees a reflection of Tiger Woods, Warren Beatty, and Senator John Edwards all rolled into one.

She was quick to note that the more realistic reflection is one of Jackie Chan, Andy Dick, and Congressman Barney Frank.

Hailey also added that Jon is not the bed stud that he thinks he is. She pointed out that when they were together making love she would scream out at the top of her lungs like she was having the best time of her life, but actually she was just yelling and hollering because she was pinching herself to make it seem like Jon was the best lover since Theodore Roosevelt.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: President Theodore Roosevelt was known as "The Old Rough Rider" a name he got from his performance in the bedroom and not his performance during his charge up San Juan Hill as history books tell us.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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