TV Station Announces New Reality Show: Win a Bubblebath With Jessica Simpson

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 14 January 2010


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Be a good boy and you can wash her back

Down-with-the-kids TV has announced that a new reality gameshow will debut on the former music video network in early March. "Win a Bubblebath With Jessica Simpson" will be seen weekly on Fridays at ten p.m. E.S.T. and is expected to build a softening weekend viewing audience.

The format for the new series will feature fifteen contestants competing to see which of them will win the grand prize: a naked bubblebath with Jessica Simpson. One contestant will be cut each week in a combined vote of the other contestants, Jessica Simpson, and the viewing audience.

When final rules of the contest were described to her, Jessica said "I have to stay in the tub for fifteen weeks? Won't that make me all pruney looking?"

After it was clarified to the star that she was only in the tub for promo spots and in the beginning and ending credits of the show, Jessica was satisfied that her skin would not be ruined.

Ms. Simpson did request, however, that she be allowed to bring bathtub toys with her until she finally has someone else in the water "to play with."

When asked to describe the play that she would have with the winner, Jessica said "you know, regular tub stuff....Marco Polo, rubber ducky, making soap bubble beards and bikinis,...where's Waldo, doctor, motorboating in my boobies, drop the soap,..." She also said that she expected her new friend to help her wash in "all of the hard to reach places."

While an edited version of the series finale will air on DWTKTV, an unedited version will be available on pay per view. The latter is expected to be the higher rated program.

Various reporters and members of the crew have volunteered to "help Jessica out" with her baths so that she will not be lonely before a contest winner is chosen.

If this show is successful, can "Take a Shower with Jessica Alba" be far behind?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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