LONDON - Katy Perry has just purchased a fully loaded 2010 Kenyan Black Range Rover for her soon-to-be husband Russell Brand.
Katy said that she purchased the vehicle for $100,000 on eBay and had it delivered the very next day.
The state-of-the-art Range Rover is equipped with a GPS System that can reach as far off as the planet Jupiter. It also has his and hers laptops, his and hers microwave ovens, and a mini jacuzzi.
Katy said that she bought the vehicle with the understanding that Russell would reduce his daily cussing by at least 80 percent.
Brand reportedly said that he could sure as shit handle that little effen request without too much frickin' effort.
Russell had to confide to Katy that he cannot drive. She asked him if he was kidding and he answered that he never learned because he was always too busy doing something else like picking up chicks, girls, broads, and babes.
Katy said that she looked in the phone book and she has contacted the Minnie Driver Driving School about getting Russell some driving lessons.
In the meantime, Katy says that she will just have to drive Brandy, as she affectionately calls Russell, to wherever it is the bloke needs to go.
In other news. Charlie "The Colorado Kid" Sheen has reportedly called up Tiger Woods and asked him if he could borrow one of his lawyers for a few days.
