Jon Gosselin's Apartment Ransacked - Police Will Question Elin Nordegren

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 28 December 2009

image for Jon Gosselin's Apartment Ransacked - Police Will Question Elin Nordegren
Jon Gosselin signing an autograph in New York's Central Park.

MANHATTAN - It has not been too good a year for Jon Gosselin. First, his TV reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8 gets cancelled, then he and Kate get a divorce, and now his apartment has been ransacked.

NYPD detectives have questioned several of Gosselin's girlfriends including Hailey Glassman, Kate Major, Katerina Kiriakadis, and Moon Min Poon Tang.

Katty Kiriakadis has been eliminated as a possible suspect because she was visiting her parents in Greece over the Christmas holidays.

Moon Min Poon Tang has been eliminated as a suspect because she was visiting an old boyfriend in South Korea.

Kate Major was camping in Yellowstone National Park with her grandfather and grandmother Bradley and Beebee Clackerclick.

Hailey Glassman was in town and she is still being investigated.

Another person of interest that the NYPD is looking into is Elin Nordengren. When asked why the NYPD is looking at Mrs. Tiger Woods, Detective Cole Rusketback, who spoke on the condition of anonymity (oops) stated that there are a lot of interesting similarities between the ransacking of Jon Gosselin's apartment and the Tiger Woods - Elin Nordegren Thanksgiving Day incident involving the black Cadillac Escalade SUV, the fire hydrant, and the number 3 golf driver.

When asked to elaborate Detective Rusketback stated that a witness remarked seeing a tall blonde leaving Gosselin's apartment carrying a number 3 golf driver in her hand.

The witness who asked that we only give out her initials (F.P.) said that she spoke to the lady who was wearing a pink and purple sweatsuit and that the lady had told her that it sure was a whole lot colder up here in New York than what it is in Orlando.

Florentina Passaletti also pointed out that the woman spoke with a definite accent. When asked to describe it she said that it was a cold country accent.

When asked what she meant by that she elaborated that the lady's accent sounded either Norwegian, Finnish, or Swedish.

Detective Rusketback was asked what had been taken and what was the extent of the damage to Jon Gosselin's apartment. The detective said that the only item that was taken was a box of condoms that Jon said he kept underneath his bed.

He stated that the person who had broken into his apartment tore up all of his T-Shirts, regular shirts, and all of his boxer shorts.

Jon also said that he was missing all of the love letters that he had received from Kate, Katerina, and Moon Min. The love letters that he had received from Hailey were not touched

In other news. Rosie O'Donnell has admitted to Katie Couric that she is not really a lesbian. She said that it was all just an act to get the American people to feel sorry for her and to stop commenting on her weight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more