Theresa Rogers Claims She Has A Six-Year-Old "Tiger" Cub

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 18 December 2009

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image for Theresa Rogers Claims She Has A Six-Year-Old "Tiger" Cub
Theresa Rogers showing off the great looking legs that helped her capture "El Tigre."

WELLINGTON, Florida - The senior member of Tiger Woods "Scorecard Cutey Club" Theresa Rogers has revealed that her goal was to have a little "Tiger" cub from her boyfriend Eldrick Tont Woods.

She was so convinced that it would happen that she went out and purchased all kinds of baby items such as baby rattles, baby pacifiers, and a plastic baby golf ball.

Well now it appears that there just might be a little six-year-old "Love Child" whose daddy has the initials ETW.

The 47-year-old Southern belle Theresa "Hey Y'all I'm Gonna Be One Rich Bitch" Rogers has already hired one of the most famous "Gal Pal" lawyers in the country, Cindy Cinnabar.

Cinnabar is noted for her smooth Southern style. A native of Fort Walton Beach, Florida, she has won judgements for clients in every state in the union except for Alaska. She says Alaska is just too damn far and besides it is colder than a mother you-know-whater up there.

Out of all of the women involved in Tiger's "Golf Gate" none spent the amount of time with the SuperTiger than Theresa did. Theresa actually shined his putter and washed his balls (tisk-tisk).

When Cinnabar was asked if Miss Rogers has a good chance of coming out pretty good, she laughed and said "Pretty good? Honey when I get through with Mr. Woods, my client will have more money than all of the other dozen or so "Golf Gaters" put together.

She said that three years ago she won a $4.2 million sexual harassment judgement for her client Clementine Calendula in the Calendula vs. The Sunshine State Lemon Growers Council.

And just this past March she won $3.7 million for her clients the Zillmill twins, Bristol and Crystal in their lawsuit against Lake Ontario Pharmaceuticals, makers of Itchy-Itch Be Gone, a G-Spot ointment.

Cinnbar says that Theresa Rogers, who just happens to have the best looking legs of all of Tiger's 'tigresses,' is sitting in the drivers seat and looking very pretty.

Cinnabar grins and then adds "And I ain't talking about no Cadillac Escalade SUV, I'm talking about lots and lots of fine luxurious Rolls Royces.

In other news. Reports that Rush Limbaugh has been fired from his radio show for being rudely arrogant are apparently untrue. The fired part is untrue, the rudely arrogant part is totally true.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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