ORLANDO, Florida - Tiger Woods manager Upton Courtquist was in town picking up some legal pads at the local Office Depot when he was confronted by two dozen reporters.
They were asking Courtquist how Tiger was doing. He started panicking and asked "How's he doing what?" "Is there something that I missed?" "Is it another gorgeous blonde?" "Am I at Disney World yet grandma?"
The reporters sensing that Courtquist was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown backed off.
He finally gained his composure after he took a drink from someone's Diet Dr. Pepper.
Courtquist said that he was ready to inform them about "Golf Gal #7," he paused and asked or is it "Golf Gal #8?" Someone hollered out that as of this moment the number is 7.
Courtquist heaved a sigh of relief. What's "Lucky 7's name?" one of the reporter's hollered out.
"Lucky 7's name, I mean the name of the lady in question is one Holly Sampson. One reporter shouted out like the guy with the hair. And he replied no this Sampson has a P, and one reporter laughed as he said, "I'll bet she does!"
A reporter for The Savannah Morning Peaches asked Courquist if it was true that Holly Sampson dabbles in porn movies. He grinned and said that Miss Sampson is actually a porn star.
Any movie names you can give us. And Courtquist reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a yellow sheet of paper. He read off some names of movies that the 36-year-old Holly has appeared in; The MILF That Made Milwaukee Famous, Dairy of A Sand Trap Strumpet, The SOB Hid Her IUD Under The B-E-D, and Journey To The Far Islands Of Labia Majora.
Courtquist was asked if Tiger had gotten a chance to play some golf. He shook his head no. He then added as he was walking to his car that Tiger has been so busy that he hasn't even had time to think about how many more "Golf Gals" may be out there reading to tell their story.
In other news. TV talk show host Jay Leno should be released from the hospital sometime in the morning. It seems that Leno was in his office and he bent down to tie one of his shoe laces. All of the blood rushed to his humongous chin and he passed out hitting his head on on a chair.