President Obama's Speech On Afghanistan Bumps A Charlie Brown Christmas, 49 Million Kids Cry Like Hell

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for President Obama's Speech On Afghanistan Bumps A Charlie Brown Christmas, 49 Million Kids Cry Like Hell
Two Peanuts fans who got so angry they went outside and angrily kicked things like soccer balls, chickens, cats, and flowers.

NEW YORK CITY - President Obama's speech on the troop buildup in Afghanistan preempted the annual showing of A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is the second most watched Christmas special next to It's A Wonderful Life.

And the preempting caused quite a commotion in millions of households with little kids.

One family in Montpelier, Vermont, the Quiltmeisters reported that their six-year-old daughter Susie got so upset that she has not eaten in 24 hours.

A mother in Missoula, Montana, said that her little boy Corky became so angry that he went up to the fish bowl and angrily swallowed eight of the nine goldfish.

The ninth one managed to escape by somehow jumping into the toilet. The poor little fella was shaking so bad that some of the gold came off.

A New Orleans grandmother who lives in an apartment high rise said that Hurricane Katrina was nothing compared to the damn damage that her little five-year-old grandson Packy did.

Mrs. Flondell May Winnsboro, 89, said that first little Packy grabbed her walker away from her and threw it out the fourth story window.

He then got into her underwear drawer and set fire to all of her girdles. Not content with that he then poured Mrs. Butterworth's pancake syrup all over her Persian cat Pussywillow III, who got so scared she ran out the door and was instantly attacked by a swarm of 30,000 starving honeybees.

Little Packy then grabbed the back of his grandmother's bra strap and popped it seventeen times before his grandfather LaMarcus, who had been taking a nap woke up, saw what was happening and somehow managed to tackle little Packy and literally spanked the everlivin' daylights out of the little son-of-a-bitch (for want of a better word).

News reports are stating that the states of Vermont, Wyoming, Indiana, and Oregon are all getting ready to file class action lawsuits on behalf of resident kids between the ages of 4 and 9.

The lawsuits state that ABC was negligent in allowing the presidential speech on Afghanistan to preempt the showing of the yearly Peanuts gang event. And as a result it has resulted in tremendous irreparable damage to hundreds of thousands of kids.

ABC was asked to comment and a spokesperson Debra Ratzenberger merely said, "Our bad, so now everyone just make nice, build a bridge, and get over it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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