Bonkettes Get Lost - Touch Down In Vegas

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Bonkettes Get Lost - Touch Down In Vegas
BJ Spit And BJ Swallow Again. Pictured Somewhere Or Other

The world's most famous girl band, the Bonkettes landed in Las Vegas last night amid much confusion as to where they were supposed to be on their sell-out World Stadium Tour.

The band's manager, BT Bishop, admitted that he'd lost the plot and got his dates mixed up.

"I lost the plot and got the dates mixed up," he admitted.

"I thought we were due to play the O2 Arena in London," lead singer BJ Swallow told us. "We were scheduled to play the Hollywood Bowl, but I'm not sure if we did or we didn't. In the meantime we're stuck here in Vegas. These world stadium tours are so confusing."

As we spoke in the lobby of the Las Vegas Bilton Hotel, band member Kathy Legover nee Trembler grew visibly agitated as a stretch limousine pulled into the parking lot disgorging its sole passenger, Brit rapper 'The Full Inch' aka 'Finchy'

"That's me sorted!" Kathy snorted. "I'll be getting the Full Inch tonight, by God and no mistake."

BT Bishop announced that the Bonkettes would play Vegas, seeing as they were there anyway, so it would be a waste of time not to.

"Ah we'll squeeze it in," he told us. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Sipping sensually from a pint glass of recycled diesel oil, through a straw no less, lead singer BJ Swallow told us:

"We just do what we do. Simple as that. Innit."

We managed to catch up with the Full Inch at the hotel elevator, but he just told us to go away in no uncertain terms.

Bonkettes drummer, Fanny Tickler then invited our team up to her room for cocktails. An invitation we gratefully accepted.

PR Guru Max Stiffard protested but we just told him to go fuck himself.

More news on the gig as we get it.

Colonel Juan, advisor to the rich and famous insists that he has NEVER had sexual relations with the Bonkettes.

The lying swine.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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