Rihanna: Being On National News After Being Beaten Up Not My Worst Incident

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 7 November 2009


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Singer Rihanna says that the Chris Brown incident was bad enough but there was something that happened to her when she was 12 that still haunts her dreams.

She told this reporter that she was in Barbados where she was born and that she and some of her friends, including her boyfriend, a 14-year old hunk she wouldn't name.

"It was very dark the first night and I needed to go to the bathroom after eating some hot dogs that were probably off, because some others got sick."

She then stated that she went to a counselor and asked her about a bathroom and it's location.

"She does not know but she suddenly shouts to the male counselor "Where's the toilet, John? Rihanna says she needs to go really bad!"

She said that the whole camp could hear, especially her boyfriend who "was standing right beside this John."

She was told the location but in the dark, she stumbled and dropped her flashlight. Then, after searching around in vain she gave up, having to hurry to the out building or buildings.

"Soon I saw the shape of a building in the park so I hurriedly opened the door but could not find the bathroom doors and I hit my head on a chimney brick. So I sat down right there and pulled my panties down and did #2."

That was when a flashlight came on as someone came in the door and hurried over to a light switch.

"This big man, head of the park service there I found out later, looked down at me and where I had crapped on his cabin floor."

Apparently, all he stated was that the toilets were in a building behind this one.

"I still have bad dreams about that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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