In a slow news day, watch out for Ryo Heene! The 6-year old has signed with MGM for a biopic to tell the story of the helium balloon that floated off (as they do).
"My Dad let go of the string and it just floated away" moans Ryo (whose name means Annoying Little Twat) in the Urdu/Mohican dialect spoken by his family.
"We won the balloon at the State Fair, where my sister was the quickest to catch the greased piglet in the DNA mixing pool".
"It was a big balloon" Ryo's Dad, Eee Bygum (whose name means Chooses Ridiculous Names For Kids) "and the string was slippery. Besides, I was fed up hanging on to the stupid thing.
How was I to know the Air Force would scramble a squadron of F18's?
When this reporter asked Mr Bygum why he had reported that his son might be a passenger in the balloon he replied "our PR, Max Clifford said it was one way to stop them from shooting holes in it".
MGM studios are reportedly paying $236 for the movie rights.
