The wild child daughter of TV's Richard Milady and Judy Vinaigrette revealed today how her dad 'exploded with rage' when she told him she'd crashed her car after boozing on cocktails.
"He yelled at me, 'you f**king idiot,'" sobbed Chloe Milady. "What do you mean cocktails, you thick slag? What the f**k was wrong with getting absolutely shit-faced on vintage champagne? We have our reputation to think of. I thought we'd brought you up better than that!"
A weeping Chloe said "I know I've embarrassed myself, and let my mum and dad down, but I've learnt my lesson now. I will only drive after drinking quality bubbly from now on."
Although repentant, blubbing Chloe BLAMED the pressures of being Richard and Judy's daughter for her wayward lifestyle. "I knew when my mum got her saggy tits out on national television, I would have to go some to live up to her reputation. But nobody asked them to give me loads of jobs on their TV shows so that I've got wads of cash to spend on booze, did they? If my dad wasn't such a tight f**ker, he'd have got me a chauffeur rather than making me drive a shitty Peugeot 106. And," she blasted "if they'd left enough f**king condoms in the bedside drawer, I would never have had to drive rat-arsed to a chemist at stupid o'clock in the morning anyway when I had a 'female moment' and wanted a shag!!"
Chloe's fee for this article has been donated to herself.
