Pete Doherty has a normal Sunday

Funny story written by Not The Nine O'clock News

Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Pete Doherty has a normal Sunday
Doherty even found time to clean the bathroom.

Pete Doherty, famed musician and drugs 'n' rock and roll star, spent a normal Sunday yesterday doing the kind of things you and I might do, alleged the NTNON team today

Pete shunned his previous 'stay in bed all day' attitude by rising briskly at 8am, having a refreshing Lemon Balm shower followed by coffee and a pleasant chat to his family.

By 9am Pete had totally lost his previous ways and it was alleged he was seen outside a newsagents with two sunday newspapers under his arm and a dog on a lead.

Knowing full well that he had promised his wife he would redecorate the kids bedroom, Pete planned to read the papers until around 10am, leaving himself 'about an hour' to go to B&Q to get the necessary stuff.

By 11am Pete was running slightly late, but still found time to stop off at 'Julies Tea Shop' for a bacon butty and another coffee.

He arrived home around 11.30am, which was the time he usually got in before changing the error of his ways. An hour later and Pete had removed the contents of the kids bedroom ready for painting. This left him a few hours in the afternoon to paint the kids room a lovely summer yellow colour, which Pete himself picked.

During the redecorating, Pete would often be disturbed by his kids 'wanting to know what daddy was doing' to which Pete replied 'I'm going to make your bedroom a really nice Yellow colour, just like a banana', he said pulling a funny face, which had his 2 & 3 year old daughters rolling around the floor with laughter.

When he had finished painting the room, Tea was ready and Pete, normally not a big eater due to his drink and drugs lifestyle, bloated himself with a full English Sunday Roast, followed by a couple of pints watching the Football on TV, whilst occasionally joining in family life with cheery anecdotes to his wife and children.

After the match, Pete was tired and soon snoozed off for an hour before, somewhat grumpily being woke up by his wife, who had the kids ready to say goodnight and read them a book. Two books later, with the kids asleep, Pete and his wife settled in for a night in front of the TV. They bought a movie off Sky and settled down for a 'nice end to the day' alleged the report.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more