Abusive Rapstar Chris Brown was dealt a severe sentence in his domestic violence charges, according to gangsta rap website beatenmabiatch.bruse. The court banned Brown from within fity feet publically and ten feet privately and commercially from his former girlfriend and recent victim, Rihanna.
The judge surprised all observers by placing the same limits , though never requested on Rihanna. In an unusual courtroom speech, Judge Mya Man-Beetme imposed the restraining orders on both former lovers and performing partners:
" Since she licked her own wounds and then applied her tongue to her abuser's imagined injuries in and outside of a NYC strip club recently, I have no choice but to ban the terrible twosome from each other."
Clearly offended by the judge's implications, Rihanna made it clear that ten feet would be no problem for Brown to reach out to his lover.
In an additional clause in the court order, Brown would not be allowed on or near Sesame Street until all original cast members were dead and buried. Vampiric numerologist, The Count said that that would not be for many, many centuries, Ha, Ha, Ha! Maria and Luis agreed with hispanic chortles: Ja Ja Ja!