Prostrate Pratt could mean Jade Goody sequel, many fear

Monday, 8 June 2009

image for Prostrate Pratt could mean Jade Goody sequel, many fear
"sad angry upset scared sick ill unwell poorly man"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Reality TV star Heidi Pratt was taken to a Costa Rican hospital Saturday after complaining of an unidentifiable "cancer-like pain."

Pratt, current star of "One MTV Hill," was supposed to compete on "You're a Celebrity? Get out of here!!" a reality show, set in the jungle, that explores the interactions of people so incredibly dysfunctional and incompatible that their chances of making it out alive are virtually nil.

She and recently wed husband Spencer pulled out of the project just before filming began, leaving many fearing this may have had something to do with her recent hospitalization for an undisclosed illness.

A local spoof writer said a prayer for Pratt today, recalling the recent deluge of stories when reality TV star Jade Goody was dying of cancer.

"I didn't know who Jade Goody was back then, either, but it was crazy. Every other article on 'The Spoof' was about her; you couldn't get away from it. It was like, either write a story about it, or watch your daily activity dwindle away to nothing," he explained, wringing his hands nervously. "I'm scared the same thing might happen to us again because of this... what's her name again? Oh, yeah, Heidi Pratt. Anyway, it's a little terrifying.

"I just hope we're all going to be okay," he added.

While most experts agree such a "Pratt-fall" would be a boon to, providing a healthy portion of new readership in lean literary times, spoof readers and writers alike admit that prospect is frightening, not knowing if they have the stomach for the same thing again, at least not so soon.

"I still have an urge to vomit when I see Jade's name in print," proclaimed one reader, barely choking back a little bit of the same with obvious difficulty as he spoke.

"See??" he said, enthusiastically gesturing at the damp spot on the back of his sleeve he'd only a moment before daubed off his chin, shoving it in my face as I felt myself beginning to gag. "Just saying her name is almost enough to do it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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