Jerry Springer: I Shall Not Return

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 8 February 2009

image for Jerry Springer: I Shall Not Return
"Regis, You The Man!"

After two seasons, talk-show titan Jerry Springer will not be returning as host of summer reality juggernaut America's Got Talent, he said in a statement.

He lists commitments to his talk show, over a dozen concussions from thrown chairs, a recurring back injury from having been sat upon by a bouncing 345-pound woman, and a near-fatal backstage beating by a S&M feature on his show in 2001 among the reasons.

The 64-year-old former mayor of Cincinnati experienced a renewal of star power when he appeared on the third season of Dancing With the Stars.

"He went on to replace Regis Philbin as host of the Simon Cowell-produced competition show for its second cycle", stated his agent, Howard Moss.

"I did the best I could", stated Springer, "but I tell you here and now, no one can really 'replace' the magic that is Regis Philbin."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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