Written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

image for Russell Brand admits to have bedded 30 women a night
Russell Brand and his agent

Wild comedian disk jockey and BBC resigner Russell Brand has made a frank admission - well al least we think the journalist was called Frank - about the number of women he beds each night.

According to the shaggy-haired celebrity, claims that he was bedding up to 80 women a night have been wildly exaggerated, although it was unfortunate this appeared in the Sun newspaper, because his fans thought it was true. This is a shame really, because they have just got over the shock of finding out that there has never been a World War II bomber on the moon (it was actually a Ryanair Manchester-to-Faro 737).

Brand said it was more like 30 women a night, sometimes in groups of 6.

He revealed that his pennance for insulting the grand-daughter of Andrew Sachs was that he should work in the Hendon Central Homeless Womens' Hostel for three months, where his duties included ensuring that up to 30 women a night were put to bed.

He said: "I was upset wiv the Sun. I didn't sleep wiv any of 'em or nuffink. No. Didn't even get as much as a glimmer of their breasts. I had to make sure they were tucked up in bed and asleep by 10.30 each night.

"As someone who likes the occasional woman, you don't realise how how hard this was for me. All these beautiful women and I couldn't touch one of 'em.

"Wussent even allowed shake their 'ands or nuffink."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Russell Brand

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