Written by Phil Edgar's Bones

Monday, 8 December 2008

image for 'Sell-Out' Russell Brand Dedicates Award To His Blobby Rich Friend Ross!
I dedicate this cup....Oh.. er.... to a rich bleeding sod, dun I!

Dirty-Sex man and slimy foul-mouthed coward Russell Brand; ran off like a baby girl, to America, after swearing at a lovely pensioner. He now has breezed back to the UK, without a care in the world to pick up some award and probably some penicillin.

For some reason, the filthy one, who doesn't have the power to give you S.T.D's , by mentioning his name three times- was given an award for his services to humour (cough, cough, vomit) and sell-out concerts. Sell-out by concert, sell-out by nature!

His overpaid, blobby, foul-mouthed, lisping, pansy, mate Ross, didn't turn up for the ceremony, as he was in hiding, in his mansion/castle- constructed entirely from money.

Fair-weathered friend Brand dedicated his award to his multi-millionaire chum. In previous years awards have been dedicated to sick kiddies, aged grand-parents, political prisoners, pioneers of industry.

However, hypocritical Brand with his understanding of ordinary people, felt the need to dedicate his award to a man who has become obscenely RICH from the licence fees OF pensioners, the low-income brigade, the sick, disabled, the proletariat, single-parents, the redundant and hard up. Even Karen Matthews had a licence!

Dr Gerard McGarry, said " I totally agree with Brand, the middle-class, multi-millionaire, middle-aged, white man, so often gets overlooked and ignored in society. Russell made a stand for the filthy rich and that's okay with me. But what do I know I have a teeny penis".

After the show Russell "oh er missus" Brand, attended a demonstration to raise the salaries of U.K's CE0's by 2%, in order for them to get a well-deserved million pounds a week. He then went to the Isle of Man for a 'sell-out' concert. Our sources say, he possibly shagged everyone on the Island, as 'mass' moaning was heard as far as 'Norway'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
53 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more