This year's Darwin awards have been given out in Malibu. The Darwin Awards are given (posthumously) to those members of society who thoughtfully remove themselves from the gene-pool via inventive and incomprehensibly stupid ways.
Third place went to You Tube veteran, Phil Ittup who was filming one of his Prat Video Productions, only to discover that shopping carts cannot be pushed along the tracks by the 7:15 from Minnesota.
Second place went to General Ian Surance of the New Zealand Armed forces, who announced that their technology division had created a perfectly transparent bullet proof glass. At a press conference, he asked some soldiers to shoot at him in his car. It was later discovered that he hadn't ordered the glass to be installed.
The winner was aircraft mechanic, Bob "No Nose" Nostril, who had been told that the port engine on a Boeing 747 was making a rattling noise. He stood by it, and asked the pilot to start it up, and was sucked in. Amazingly, this stopped the rattle.
The original winner, Mike O'Phone had his award rescinded when it was discovered that he had already procreated and had three children. There was some embarrassment at the Darwin headquarters when it was discovered that it had been his eldest child that had passed him the tow-rope to bungee jump with.
