Tonight's Program Promoted as "TardCore"
New York - MTV announced plans to shake up its fall line up with a special episode of the wildly popular show "Made". The show is typically driven by hopeful viewers looking to make their impossible dream happen. Tonight's episode will be no different as it features a Mongoloidic teenager pushing to become America's first disabled rapper.
"MTV has opened dialog on many uncomfortable social issues similar to tonight's Made episode", said Music Television spokesman Michael Krasner. Indeed the network once known for spanning bridges across musical genres has now molded itself into the barometer for this generation's social injustices. Previous episode topics have ranged from MADE: I want to be a horse and Made: I want to pierce my eye - It's all fun ‘till someone loses an eye. Tonight's episode will promote the improbably journey of short bus rider Jessie Stotz and his attempt to make it in the "rap game".
With little rhyming experience beyond being put to sleep to Dr. Suess's Nobody's Perfect (So I Killed A Man) Vol. II Stotz will bravely attempt to "lay down" several tracks in a Manhattan studio before a performing live in front of an audience for the show's last segment. "It will be a challenge to remember words", admitted the 3 time Special Olympian. With help from relatively new but already platinum wearing group Dirty Yellow Ice Makers, the show takes the viewer though Stotz's weeks of rehearsing dance steps and complicated word play for the big event.
Dirty Yellow Ice Makers front man Lil' Stinky recently talked about the mutually beneficial relationship the group shared with Jessie. "We laid down some tight moves with the ones and twos. Jessie came right along once we got the end of the stage clearly marked. I guess it was like once he told us that the pictures represented what the customer was asking for on the McDonald's register, we were golden like the Arches."
With songs like "Everybody Poops (Remix feat. Method Man)", tonight's performance is sure to be a tearjerker for the MTV audience. Though the task ahead may seem overwhelming for most "normal" people, Stotz remained calm when asked about the possibility of not performing to a high standard, "I don't really want to do this…but it's better than cleaning shoes…don't tell."
There will be lessons learned tonight and dreams may not be fulfilled, but one thing is for sure, a retard will get on stage with three other guys and sing his heart out all while America laughs and MTV pushes Taco Bell and cellular phone service.