Jeremy Kyle show "got guest drunk to poke fun at him"

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Friday, 28 September 2007

image for Jeremy Kyle show "got guest drunk to poke fun at him"
Guest was held down and forced to drink a bottle of vodka

Makers of the Jeremy Kyle Show angrily denied allegations that they deliberately plied a guest with alcohol in order to get him drunk and make a fool of him on television.

Jobless heroin addict, S. Mac, went on the show to discover why his father cut him out of his will. While waiting to be called on, he was forcibly held down while a bottle of vodka was poured down his throat. When he stumbled onto the stage in an intoxicated state, he made a bit of an arse of himself, much to the amusement of the live studio audience, who pelted him with rotten tomatoes which had been handed out in advance, while Kyle poked him with an enormous cattle prod. Viewing figures shot up as millions tuned in to watch Mr. Mac's live humiliation.

Mr. Mac said:

"They used vodka because it has no smell. I suffered more than just a bruised ego, since I have burn marks all over my body where that bastard Kyle prodded me."

Jeremy Kyle has a reputation for embarrassing his guests. He likes to alienate them from the audience by asking them loaded questions like "Have you stopped beating your wife" and, while they are thinking of what to say, confusing them with fast witticisms, before declaring them a "scumbag".

District Judge Alan Berg launched a blistering public attack on the programme earlier this week from a court in Manchester, calling it "a form of human bear-baiting".

Staff at the TV studio said:

"We utterly refute the suggestion that Mr. Mac was goaded beforehand by production staff. The vodka, cattle prod and tomatoes were used in moderation and after getting advice from a doctor first."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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