Zsa Zsa Gabor "could end up legless"

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

image for Zsa Zsa Gabor "could end up legless"
Once she was a knock-out

Los Angeles - (Calamity Press): Fears that Queen of Outer Space star Zsa Zsa Gabor could end up legless have resulted in her being booked in for an operation at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles today.

The 1950s blonde bombshell been knocking back the hard stuff a bit for a few "hellish" months since her philandering husband Count Frederick Von Assfelt told the Larry King Show he was the probable father of stripper Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn.

Now the 88-year-old Hungarian actress says she's bored rigid by all the media hype and humiliation which has led to her becoming partially paralyzed "as well as paralytic my dear."

"Zsa Zsa is only happy when headline grabbing," a close aide commented today.

"It's true she's been sloshed since at least February this year when that Dannielynn stuff was all over the news.

"But the truth is the last time she was really happy was when managing to slap a Beverly Hills cop back in '89, that time they pulled her over for suspected DUI.

"Maybe there's a junior doctor she can rough up a bit at the Cedars-Sinai, just to keep her hand in so to speak."

Dannielynn Marshall Birkhead is one year old.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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