Saving Private Ryan actor collapses from excessive bell ringing

Funny story written by Jesus Budda

Thursday, 6 September 2007

image for Saving Private Ryan actor collapses from excessive bell ringing
The spot where Barry collapsed

Barry Pepper, who played a religious US sniper in war movie Saving Private Ryan, has collapsed from excessive bell ringing at a 15th century Italian church.

"He is an addict.Plain and simple", said Doctor Luigi Stereotipi in his best Italian accent, "He gotta hooked on a the ropes and the bella ringing".

Pepper - who is one of those actors many recognise but cannot recall the name of - was on vacation after filming "Up Yours, Berlusconi" in Milano, Italy.

Co-star David Keith - who is also one of those actors everyone recognises but cannot remember the name of - described how Pepper seemed before the incident.

"Barry seemed fine to me. Nothing particularly strange or out of the ordinary", said Keith, "he arose at 4am went out for a couple of hours bell ringing like he usually does but this time he just went a bit too far".

"Oh, and by the way", added Keith, "in case your wondering, I'm the guy that looks like a cross between Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell. I normally play hard assed military types and the likes.Oh, and I played Yonk Allen in CBS' The Class.Just in case your wondering and all..."

Pepper is still undergoing intensive therapy.He has even been spotted ringing the local village bell, which Doctor Luigi describes as "reverse therapy to clear him of his bell cravings".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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