He's A Serial Killer, Get Him In There

Funny story written by david alsatian

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

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PRODUCERS for the hit reality TV show I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here are considering naming convicted serial killer Charles Manson in their 2007 line-up.

Worried that the tired format won't wash with viewers bored by 12 weeks of violence-free Big Brother this summer, show chiefs insist they are planning 'something special' for the annual jungle jaunt.

And a secret memo sent to Corcoran State Prison requesting Manson's release suggests that their star celeb will be the 72-year-old mass murderer.

It read: "We appreciate Mr Manson is not available for parole until 2012 but we think the show could be the final stage of his rehabilitation. If he can survive almost a month with the dregs of the entertainment industry without feeling the need to kill again, then he would surely pose no danger to the public at large."

Producers are convinced Manson won't get up to his old tricks but have the comfort of a legal safety net if the satanic pensioner does try to wipe out the other participants.

A show insider revealed: "We have a clause in the contracts covering liability for death and the publicity seeking muppets will just sign anything we shove in front of their noses.

"Jordan and Peter Andre couldn't even read or write, they both just put thumbprints on the contracts. The clause is there to cover snake and spider attacks but our lawyers are confident it will also cover acts of Manson.

"And, even if things DO go wrong, what could be better telly than watching Charlie decimate the cast list for next year's panto one by one?

"It would be like The Running Man. I, for one, would be tuned in."

If Manson is allowed into the jungle, producers would have their work cut out appeasing the other celebrities, who thought their biggest scare would be eating a kangaroo's nads or jumping in a tank full of electric eels.

But our insider insisted the inmate would be a 'valuable' addition to the group dynamic.
He said: "The camp wouldn't go hungry if Charlie was up for a bush tucker trial.

"After some of the things he has seen, I don't think even wanking off an alligator would faze him.
"He would be a real provider for the others. They would be the Manson family."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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