Michael Winner sues Guy Ritchie

Funny story written by Joey Joe Joe Jnr Shabadoo

Thursday, 16 August 2007

image for Michael Winner sues Guy Ritchie
The box-office performance of Guy Ritchie's Revolver

Michael Winner is issuing legal proceedings against Guy Ritchie. Mr Winner said: "My place in history as the worst film director was guaranteed until this oik came along! He's trying to steal my title!"

Mr Winner has directed cult classics like Death Wish, Death Wish 2 and Death Wish 3. Scheduling conflicts prevented him from directing Death Wish 4 and Death Wish 5. He planned to direct Death Wish 6 but Charles Bronson died.

He added: "It's because of him that people only know me now for those bloody commercials! They used to come up to me in the street and say 'Michael. Appointment With Death. What a load of fucking crap.' Now they just come up and say 'Michael. Calm down dear. What a load of fucking crap.'"

Mr Ritchie responded in a statement: "Winner daahn't know what he's talkin' 'bout, mate. That geezer better watch what he says cuz we don't mess 'round down where I come from, ya nah ah mean? I'm proper hard geezer, bruv."

Mr Ritchie attended a private boarding school and is the stepson of baronet Sir Michael Leighton.

He's currently shooting a new gangster film which will be available on DVD next month.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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