Oh boy! I've killed millions

Funny story written by david alsatian

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for Oh boy! I've killed millions
Oh boy!

WASHED-UP actor Scott Bakula last night handed himself in after claiming he was responsible for the deaths of over 100 million people.

The thespian stunned officers at a San Pedro police station by claiming to be scientist Sam Beckett and said: "I have terrible sins to confess."

In a disturbing reference to his hit TV show Quantum Leap, Bakula insisted he had sparked the First World War by leaping into the body of Bosnian assassin Gavrilo Princip.

He said: "Al told me I was there to stop Gavrilo's wife from running off with his neighbour.

"There was a gun in my pocket and all I had to do was pop round to the neighbour's house and scare him off.

"But I was fannying about with the gun as I walked up the road and accidentally shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria."

Bakula then disturbed the detectives further by admitting culpability for the SECOND World War.

He said: "I leaped into the body of a struggling Austrian artist and Al said I had to get his creative juices flowing again.

"But I can't paint for shit and it was a total shambles. All the critics panned my work and poor Adolf was forced to take a job in politics. The rest is history."

Bakula was then taken away for psychiatric treatment and friends last night feared for his sanity.

Quantum Leap co-star Dean Stockwell said: "We all thought Scott couldn't stoop any lower when he pitched up in Star Trek but sadly we were wrong."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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