Mark Lowton, owner and editor of the popular on line humor magazine "The Spoor" was arrested late Friday for attempting to smuggle a bag of sex toys into a Catholic boys orphanage. On his arrest, the man with the handlebar mustache and brown raincoat screamed "they're male privacy gadgets! They're male privacy gadgets!"
A further search of Mr. Lowtons bag revealed a receipt showing that the Octopus toys had been purchased from Filbert Merchandise in Hollywood, California in the name of Michael Jackson.
In addition to the pictured octopus toy, there were also several birth control devices and bottles of lubricant.
Writers at Lowton's magazine were shocked. One, named Buck (who refused to reveal his last name) said "Boy's orphans? They haven't got vaginas, have they? Is this anywhere near Paris? Can I see the pictures?"