Written by Lampros

Thursday, 19 February 2004

The Academy Awards will be presented later this month, and nominees were honored yesterday at a luncheon in Los Angeles. Many first-time nominees bring an international accent to this year's ceremony.

Best Actor, Leading Role Nominee Tony Blair ( "The 45 minutes claim", UK) admitted his surprise: "I was taken aback. I never expected my performance in parliament to attract so much attention and I must say I'm flattered. Nevertheless I think George will bag the award as he staged a wonderful performance" said Tony Blair referring to G.W Bush's performance on "The uranium that came from the Niger" (US, 2003).

Iraq Information Minister Saeed al-Sahhaf is also running for his leading role in " Gates of Baghdad: The grave of coalition forces" but is tipped as an outsider along with Collin Powell, the fourth and last nominee, for his performance in the " Iraqi WMD: The UN case".

The Best Actor award will be a tight race for contenders. In Visual Effects, Donald Rumsfeld is a pundit favourite for "Baghdad 2003: Shock and Awe". The Defence Minister stated : "I'm confident I'm gonna win this. I mean Lord of the Rings was OK, Matrix III was good , but how can you beat 56 tomahawk missiles a day exploding over a crowded city for a week? I'm confident, however Colin would be an opponent hard to beat" said Rumsfeld referring to Collin Powel's visual effects in " Satellite pictures of Iraqi WMD: The UN case".

Condoleeza Rice and Dick Cheney will be the hosts of the venue. Due to their flamboyant temperament ABS Network requested a five second delay to protect the American public, especially after the disastrous live broadcast of the Superbowl.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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