Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 7 July 2007

image for Kate Moss to recreate Camden Town's top coke dealing hellhole
Camden's Whorely Arms is the top celeb coke-scoring venue in North london

London - (Ass Mess): For years it has been North London's top coke-dealing venue and celebrities have flocked to it on birthdays, anniversaries or when feeling strung out by life's little ups and downs.

And now Camden's Whorely Arms is to be is to be recreated in the peaceful haven of the British Cotswolds by model Kate Moss and wannabe somebody actress Sadie Frost.

For years local celebtiry arseholes such as the Gallagher borthers, Amy Winehouse, Kelly Osbourne and Peaches geldof have used the Whorely as their top coke scoring pub despite its urine-stained floorboards, cockroach-infested kitchens and beer that tastes like battery acid.

Moss and Frost have applied for planning permission to revamp a disused old Cotswolds gastropub the Hook, Line and Sinker into a London-themed celeb boozer with all the usual local amenity features that the Whorely has offered successfully for the last 30 years.

It is not known if ex-lover Pete Doherty will be part of the action. His patronage of the Camden hostelry was said to be the main financial sponsorship that kept the Whorely afloat despite the many attempts by the police and local sanitation/health officials to close it down for good.

Doherty is rumored to be bankrupt and living in his only remaining asset - a caravan parked on Trailer Trash Alley underneath the crack-dealing area known as Westway near Portobello Road.

Moss threw him out of her Primrose Hill home last weeks and changed the locks before posting guards and sniffer dogs to deter any attempts to weedle his way back into her life.

Sadie Frost is 39.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kate Moss

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