No Takers For Paris Million Dollar Blubbering

Written by Stefano M. Stefano

Sunday, 24 June 2007

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You okay there Paris?

Originally it seemed as if American networks NBC and ABC were fighting over the right to speak to jail bird heiress Paris Hilton, with a million dollars ready to be dumped into Paris's gargantuan piggy bank. Now both networks are denying that they're ready to fork over that much moolah.

In fact, no other television network, not CBS, Fox, or the CW is ready to kiss the imprisoned bimbo's bottom for the rights to talk to the unrepentant convict. This might actually have to do with a tiny flicker of humanity in the big TV networks, or perhaps they just realized that people would rather get a full-body bikini wax than listen to the poor little rich girl with an abominable driving record.

At press time it was confirmed, however, that one television station in the Yukon was ready to pay her 18 moose for an interview, while little Danny Mitchell of Toronto was willing to splurge for an interview with Paris for his school newspaper, offering her $3.18 and an autographed photo of William Shatner.

Paris was last seen considering the offer. Either that or she was simply staring blankly at the wall, twirling her hair.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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