Dr Martens promo falls flat as relatives say loved ones 'wouldn't be seen dead' in their footwear

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 25 May 2007


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The dead celebs' relatives puked at the tacky ad

New York - (Ass Mess): A Saatchi & Saatchi poster ad campaign promoting Dr Martens boots has fallen flat on its face as relatives of deceased icons who are portrayed wearing the footwear in heaven poured scorn on their loved ones 'ever being seen dead in a pair of those weirdos' during their actual lifetimes.

Attorneys for Kurt Cobain kicked off the row by saying the Nirvana band leader 'only ever wore Gucci' and could only be compelled to don Dr Martens 'if he'd been sent to hell and not through the Pearly Gates' to above'.

Sex Pistol's vocalist is seen in the ad sporting bright red Doc Martens. His estate's executor said that the punk rocker who died in 1979 'would have pissed on a pair of those pug-ulgy boots rather than ever touch them with a bargepole'.

Meanwhile an ex-girfriend of Joey Ramone said the ad was an insult to the singer's memory, sartorial taste and legendary collection of limited-edition Manalo-Male brogues, loafers, slip-ons and sneakers:

"My Joey wouldn't have shat on a pair of those Dr Martens, let alone put his foot inside one," Lucy Loose-Juice said today at her Daytona Beachfront apartment where she once shared a love nest with the Ramones.

And in London a groupie who once whored for The Stranglers, The Jam and The Clash weighed in as well with her 50p of opinion that "there's no WAY Joe Strummer would've ever been seen dead or alive in dykey crap like those."

Spokesman for the boot company, David Suddens, said the ad campaign "ran once only in the British Fat magazine" but was withdrawn after it bombed.

"We're sure Neil Diamond would like a pair as well as Val Doonican and Jimmy Osmond."

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