'Pure instinct' lured Depp to Pirates

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 25 May 2007

image for 'Pure instinct' lured Depp to Pirates
Purely instinctual: Johnny Depp

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): "I guess it was just basic instinct!" was Johnny Depp's verdict today on what led him to pursue a offer to star in Disney's Pirates
trilogy, whose third leg 'At World's End' has just opened to wild acclaim by the Hollywood actor's bank manager.

"Despite myself, really. How was I to know it would lift me into the earnings stratosphere? Come on now!"

In the opening 'Pirates' movie, The Curse of the Black Pearl, Depp says he based the character on a composite of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards and children's cartoon favortie Captain Pugwash.

"The myriad possibilities of Captain Jack Sparrow needed exploration. So a sequel or two was necessary to probe the deeper artistic... er.... nuances! of the part.

"It was all so simple. Just strapping back on the costume, the colorful tights, the make-up.

"And all the familiar faeces, crew; it felt like we'd only been away on a short vacation."

Depp now returns to finish filming the Sweeney Todd musical which is being directed by Tim Burton.

The star said that's yet another risk for his 23 year acting career:

"Tim took a risk when he asked me to play Sweeney Todd because both he and I knew I couldn't sing," said Depp.

"Sure, it's a strange sound, but Tim found me a great voice double so there's no prolem on that score!"

And what plans for Pirates follow-ons?

"Pirates 4: The Gorgon Armada is just a possibility, if the numbers are right. Sure, why not, if Sweeny bombs...

"And Pirates 5: Return to the Prequel? I wouldn't be against it on an actor level. There's a lot more money to burn in the sponsors' pockets. And if the public buys it, we could go Pirates 6, 7 and 8 ad infinitum!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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