Annual scandal surrounding Pogues Christmas classic, Fairytale of NY, now laid to rest by Jaggedone!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 19 November 2020

image for Annual scandal surrounding Pogues Christmas classic, Fairytale of NY, now laid to rest by Jaggedone!
This guy is not offended, but the F word is causing Christmas riots!

(NOT EDITED) Sensitive ears listening to the very best Christmas song ever written whinge very year about one word in the song. Pogues fan, and ageing punk Nutter, Jaggedone, gave Shane MacGowan a buzz, while he was sober, it was a short call!

He really doesn't give a fuck what sensitive people say about his fabulous song, but he told Jaggedone, his infamous Chrissy song was really meant for a different time of the year. But after meeting Kirsty MacColl he changed his mind, because pissed out his brains, he thought her name was Chrissy, not Kirstie, so he wrote, the Chrissy version.

However, he gave Jaggedone the original version, and here it is:

Shane:

It was Easter Sunday, bunny
I'm in a drunken tank, honey
Jesus said to me, you won't see another one
And then he sang a psalm
I believe it was Psalm twenty-two
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
God, I am a piss-artist, boogaloo

Jesus rolled away his stone
Searching for his throne
Is the egg before the rooster?
And happy Easter
I love my rabbit
Can't break the habit
So, give me a fucking shot
Before I drink the lot

Chrissy (could have been Hind?):

They've got noses big as Jews
They've got chickens of gold
My farts stink after boozing different brews
Put a peg on your nose, and do not be bold
When you first took my hand
I stayed sober until Christmas Eve, and
you promised me whisky
not a cup of fucking tea

You weren't handsome
You were ugly
A Queen of New York City
When the booze run dry
You started to cry
Such a pity

While Sinatra was swinging
All the drunks they were singing
We were pissed in the evening
Then boozed through till morning

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were swinging with Sister Ray
And our balls were ringing out
For another oblivious day

Shane & Chrissy:

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead, pissed out of your head
You scumbag, you Judas
You traitor, you Pilatus
Happy Easter, my arse
Pray to God, no it's a farce

The boys of the NYPD choir
Still swinging with Sister Ray
And my balls are ringing out
For another oblivious day

I could never eat a hot-cross-bun
Well nor could anyone
You took my 'eggies' from me
I found them first, yippee
I kept them with my Easter bunny
His big ears are so funny
Can't eat them all alone
So, I'll munch them with Auntie Joan

The boys of the NYPD choir
Prayed on Easter Sunday
And my bowels are crying
For booze on Easter Monday

Shane and his Pogues have offered to record this original version for Easter, if he can stand up, but feels the word 'Jew' could offend a few, so he's leaving it to you!

Happy Christmas you maggots!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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