Jaggedone sues The Eagles because they nicked his original 'Hotel California' lyrics called; Botox-Bar-California!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 30 September 2020

image for Jaggedone sues The Eagles because they nicked his original 'Hotel California' lyrics called; Botox-Bar-California!
Free as The Eagles, but Jaggedone has now clipped their wings!

(NOT EDITED) The Eagles classic is a 'rip-off' of Jaggedone's most infamous poem written by him stoned out of his brains in a cinema watching Woodstock! The original text called: BOTOX-BAR CALIFORNIA gave Eagles lyric writer the idea to write their famous classic and is pure plagiarism claims Jaggedone!

He is now suing the 'Winged Whiners' for $100 million big uns! Proof that the original poem is not My Sweet Lord or any other rip off is below in it's entirety!

BOTOX-BAR-CALIFORNIA

On a L.A. main highway
Hot wind scorching my balding hair
Warm sun burning my scalp
Heading to my plastic quack
Called Professor Blair
Up ahead, I stop at his shack

I saw his cheap neon, shimmering light
My bald head grew heavy and thin,
I had to stop for my botox jab and implant
There he stood in the doorway
I heard his dollar signs ringing
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven or this could be hell
Then he invited me in,
his red devilish eyes blinking

And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to my Botox-Bar-California

Such an ugly face (such an ugly place)
Such an ugly face

Plenty of space at the Botox-Bar-California
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find it here
If you have the bucks, my dear!

He's got a Mercedes Benz, so what!
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty nurses
That he calls his injecting friends
They poke needles in your brows
Your butt and breast
Some pierce you with silicone
Some pierce you in the chest

So, I called up the Quack
"Please bring me my dose"
He said, "We haven't had that 'white gold' here since 1969"
And still those fat-lipped voices call from next door
Wake you up in the middle of a botox jab
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the Botox-Bar-California

Such an ugly face (such an ugly face)
Such an ugly face

They pump you full at the Botox-Bar-California
What an expensive surprise (what an expensive surprise)
Bring your credit cards
Look in the mirrors on the ceiling
Enjoy pink champagne on ice
As he says, "We are all just prisoners here of our own sacrifice"

And in the master's chambers
Fat lipped, silicone boobed nymphs gather for the feast
They 'blow job' you with their plastic lips
Because they just can't pay the beast

Last thing I remember
I was searching for my American Express
Botox-ed out and full in stress
looking at the face I had before
"Relax", said the door man
"We are programmed to receive
As long as you pay your bill you can
check out any time you like
But your ugly face will never leave"


By the one and only Jaggedone written in 1968 while totally stoned!

PS: His masked lawyers are winging their way to L.A.!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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