Some Golden Globe Winners; No Surprise

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 15 January 2007

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Some Golden Globe Winners; No Surprise
These are not the Golden Globes used in the awards show

The Golden Globe Awards are presented each year by the Hollywood Foreign Press and are often a preview of the Academy Awards. This year's list of winners offered no real surpises in the major categories. In the minor, and sometimes more technical areas, however, there were some shockers.

A list of those winners is as follows:

Best Supporting Actress in a Brief Appearance in a Non-Scripted Reality Moment
Britney Spear's Vagina

Worst Ray Charles Imitation in a Reality Show
Taylor Hicks, American Idol

Worst Musical Performances that were Unintentionally Funny and Truly Demeaning and Dehumanizing to the Performers
The Auditions Sequences of American Idol

Best Hair/Make-up in a Non-Scripted Reality Performance
Britney Spear's Vagina

Best Grip
The Queen

Worst Grip
Tony Romo (for the Dallas Cowboys vrs. Seattle Seahawks playoff game)

Least Romantic On-Screen Kiss
Talladega Nights, the Legend of Ricky Bobby (for the kiss between the male protagonist and antagonist)

Worst Actor to Ever Play James Bond in the Worst James Bond Movie Ever Made
Daniel Craig (note: this was no surprise as there were no other nominees)

Movie to Feature More Flatulance and Less Political Correctness Than Any Film Ever Made
Larry The Cable Guy, Health Inspector

Most Self Serving Television Talk Show/Talk Show Host/Hostess
(Tie)
Oprah Winfrey
Dr. Phil
Martha Stewart
Howard Stern

Most Self Serving Radio Show/Radio Host Who Thinks Anyone With a Measureable IQ Even Cares or Listens
Rush Limbaugh

Stupidest Performance by a Moron in a Governmental Position
George W. Bush

Best Hanging
Saddam Hussein
(though Florida's Chad has demanded a re-count)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot