Jesus Budda Nightclub Opens In Acapulco

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 17 January 2019

image for Jesus Budda Nightclub Opens In Acapulco
Real end-of-the-world stuff

A deluxe new nightclub in the heart of the Mexican tourist resort of Acapulco is to open its doors for the first time on Friday.

The 'Acapulco Apocalypso', is the brainchild of one-time social misfit and London gangland figure, Jesus Budda, who spends much of his time in Mexico City.

The Apocalypso, where admission will be by invitation only, will pander to those with extreme, and not necessarily legal, tastes. The club features an Olympic-sized swimming pool, where naked bathers will be able to swim, dive, and cavort. International turntablists, DJ Jalapeno, and DJ Gay Larry spin the discs, and serious clubbers can 'get down' to all the latest rhythms, booming from the world's most powerful sound system.

There are two dance areas floored in maple, which can each accommodate 200 people. One, 'The End of the World', is in an authentic apocalyptic setting, complete with eerie-looking charred trees and burning vehicles. The other, The Sty, resembles a pigpen, with a huge mudpit, in which revellers can roll whilst getting funky.

Waitresses in pig masks will serve customers with drinks, or anything else they might want. Anything.

The Spoof attempted to get a comment from Mr. Budda, but was told he was unavailable for comment, which was rather disappointing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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