'Happy Feet The Musical' Opens in Buffalo

Funny story written by President Bush

Friday, 15 December 2006

image for 'Happy Feet The Musical' Opens in Buffalo
How long does it take a real-life penguin from the South Pole to even learn to do the Macerena?

Imagine 13,000 real-life break-dancing penguins out in the isles where you're trying to enjoy the show .. 13,000 penguins knocking over buttered popcorn, chowing down on your Junior Mints causing all kinds of Gomer Pyle gone Wild mayhem. Enter Happy Feet The Musical, the production being a spin-off of the hit movie it being a spin-off of the hit video game itself being a spin-off of a 1979 National Geography special where some penguin at the South Pole supposedly momentarily tapped his left foot in rhythm to the sound of a camera man going "**** it's COLD down here ****!".

One Buffalo critic attending the opening of Happy Feet in Buffalo wrote,

"Those ****'d PENGUINS tinkled in my bucket of buttered popcorn, on my date's Junior Mints too, **** those PENGUINS! Nice dance moves though but I'll KILL one if I CATCH one!"

Negative review or .. positive?

Lee Reynolds, producer of the musical says that's exactly the conflicting emotional reaction he was looking for when he wrote the screenplay. Reynolds on MSNBC Tonight said,

"We know we opened WAY off Broadway, Buffalo in fact but we believe that by letting all 13,000 break dancing penguins loose in the 3rd act we might just catch the attention of some big time Broadway producer. Of course we do have to keep the theater right at 5 below zero during the show but parkas, mittens and those furry Russian hats are available at the ticket counter for a nominal fee so it shouldn't be a prob."

How long does it take a real-life penguin from the South Pole to even learn to do the Macerena?

Animal trainer "Buster" Wilson, trainer of all 13,000 Happy Feet penguins says that it was "quite a chore". Wilson said,

"You'd get ONE penguin trained to tap his foot in time to Cop Rock then another penguin would come along and knock that penguin over then you'd have to then train THAT penguin to do a few OLD school MC Hammer moves then ANOTHER penguin would come along WITH his crew and topple the MC Hammer Penguin then a whole FLOCK of Justin Timberlake wanna-be penguins would waddle over and .."

Wilson says that it took over 11 months to get 13,000 penguins to even do a simple Hello Dolly chorus line but the end result was "well worth it". Producer Lee Reynolds says

"We've even got ONE penguin that can do the Michael Jackson moonwalk backwards. At 5 below zero. While eating a salmon. Bring your parka's folks. And your American Express because we DO NOT TAKE Visa."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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