Venice, Italy - It looked fab on a 16 year-old size zero model at Giambattista Valli's Spring 2014 Couture show where the $15,000 embellished lace creation was voted a winner.
This morning an exact replica worn by newlywed Mrs George Clooney, 36, had a whiff of desperation about it as she stepped out in the Venetian sunshine showcasing her very be-Vaselined legs.
Completing the outfit was a slivery pair of pointed winklepicker stilettos - absolute murder on those hallux abducto valgus deformities otherwise known as bunions caused by swollen bursal sac/osseous anomaly on the metatarsophalangeal joint. Yeah.
"Ooh, you shouldn't be so bitchy about the lovely Ms Anal Alapudding," a leading fashion writer commented, "considering the balls it took to pull off such an outfit."
George Clooney is 69.