Written by Noshing Mink

Saturday, 14 June 2014

image for Carrie Fisher will be "taking off her headphones" in new Star Wars movie
"He came from somewhere back in her long ago"

Princess Leia actress Carrie Fisher has agreed not to wear headphones during the filming of the latest Star Wars movie. This is believed to be a major coup for J.J. Abrams, since Fisher had worn the distinct audio accessories throughout filming of the original trilogy.

A source close to the actress said "Carrie loved to listen to the Doobie Brothers and nothing and no-one could stop her. Indeed, she spent most of the Battle of Hoth whistling "What a Fool Believes". The phones meant she sometimes couldn't hear George Lucas' instructions and once, when he told her to go right, she thought he said 'Start a fight' and punched actor Antony Daniels (C3P0) in the face".

Mark Hamill, who plays Luke Skywalker, the munchkin brother of the hip-hop Princess from Alderaan, welcomed Fisher's decision, saying that the headphones made her look more like a cyberman rather than the adopted daughter of the Royal House of Organa.

Meanwhile, Harrison Ford remains in intensive care at Oxford's John Radcliffe Hospital, after he stubbed his toe on the door of the Millennium Falcon. A team of the best orthopaedic surgeons in the world have been flown over from California to tend his swollen metatarsal.

A hospital orderly said, "Don't you just love those Hollywood types?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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