Gojira Grants Interview on Suit Against Movie Studio

Funny story written by Frank Michaels

Thursday, 22 May 2014

image for Gojira Grants Interview on Suit Against Movie Studio
Shaved and lean, Gojira grants interview.

Hollywood, Ca. (STT Entertainment News) After making a huge opening splash on the US cinema scene, the new version of Godzilla has now bumped into something of a monster of a problem; a very expensive lawsuit.

Filed in the US District Court in Los Angeles, the suit claims that the movie studio basically took what was not theirs and used it without permission. In an exclusive interview for STT Entertainment News, the key figure in this upcoming battle granted a few answers, the first being the proper name.

"It's Gojira (pronounced: go-jeer-ah) not Godzilla. Let's get this part right."

When asked about the lawsuit, Gojira was straight forward, "What if they made a movie about you without asking? Wouldn't you be ticked? My story stretches across a vast space of time and is still told in many locales, even today, in its original format. Now here comes this studio and just snatches it up without so much as a wham-bam thank-you ma'am."

When asked about previous versions of this very same movie, Gojira replied, "Back in 1954, there was a opportunity to put my story to film, do so in my home country of Japan and still have Raymond Burr in a starring role. This guy was Perry Mason! It was the chance of a lifetime!"

On the subject of the 1998 version with Matthew Broderick... "Matthew was a great guy. They reworked my appearance into something... well, more reptilian than genuinely monstrous but, his acting saved the day."

Gojira went on to say that there are indeed plans in the pipes to stomp at least one Asian and one North American city over the next few years but so far, reaching Europe is still a problem. "Even I have a problem with getting up & over the White Cliffs of Dover... and as far as France? If they saw me coming, they'd just cover the roads with those nasty grapes and then use my name for a wine vintage. What would be in that for me?"

Back on the subject of the pending lawsuit, this legendary beast closed with, "My neck is NOT that thick! I have been on a veggie diet since '67 and today weigh less than that chimp Kong in a thong! In the movie, I look like I've been eating at McDonald's since Ronald began scaring more people than me! That just ain't right!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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