Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

image for WTF 'Starlet speaks of mental trauma after boyfriend crashes truck full of dead badgers'?
Dozens of mange-ridden badger pelts were flung willy-nilly all over waiting bus passengers

London - The model turned actress who posed naked for the American edition of Playboy in 2010 has spoken of her despair at tonight's headlines linking her boyfriend to careless driving while in charge of a truckful of dead badgers.

Kelly Brook, who appeared in movies such as The Italian Job, School for Seduction and Pitanha 3D, was inconsolable as the headlines broke about former Royal Marine David McIntosh's escapade.

And, as if to compound the lovely Ms Brook's anguish, someone from the Worldwide Animal Liberation Front tweeted the story adding a rather horrid photoshopped illustration of Castor Disruptus (Latin for split beaver).

The prang occurred when McIntosh's vehicle hit a rural bus stop in Gloucestershire with the impact resulting in dozens of the dead beasties being flung all over hapless passengers as they waited to board the 11.15 coach to Pratts Bottom.

Tonight there is still no adequate explanation why the ex-Marine was acting as the animals' chauffeur.

Commenting on the story an LA shrink who once advised Elizabeth Taylor said 'it might be some sort of fetish about mangy old pelts'.

Download that photoshopped illustration right here.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kelly Brook

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