Jay Leno Explains Politics

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 27 December 2013

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As Jay Leno winds down his career, many have noticed a new "bite" in some of his jokes and comments. Last night proved to be no exception as the late night comic gave his take on the current American political scene. The following is a word for word quote of his remarks:

So you want to understand politics. O.K, In the old days you'd see W.C. Fields do a skit on stage, read or see his gags in his movies and books. He was a misanthropic egoist. His best known statement was "never give a sucker an even break." His persona that he hated people best came out in his treatment of children and dogs.

In one of his movies, the big W.C. hovers over a little girl and proceeds to give her a kick to the shins. The little girl, loudly crying, complains to him. "What's the matter with you, why are you crying?" Fields wants to know.

Today politics is based up W.C. Field's take on life. Take a look at the economy and what the politicians are doing about it. The best current example is that there are several millions of unemployed Americans. The studies show that that most of them keep looking and looking, searching and searching for jobs that simply aren't there.

So what do the politicians do? They give the jobless a "Christmas Present." It cuts off all government unemployment benefits. And what's the rationale behind it? It's an extra incentive to create sheer desperation so that people will find the non-existent work.

Of course, some of the unemployed complain that this isn't fair. And, some of the out-of-work feeling the pain complain about hunger, homelessness, and the cold outside. The politician's response? It's to call them "crybabies."

So, to understand politics you don't need a Harvard Ph.D or 200 units in political science and economics from Yale.

You just study your W.C. Fields.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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