Peaches Geldof branded a 'Prickly Pear fiend' in paedo Moms name 'n' shame furor

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 29 November 2013

image for Peaches Geldof branded a 'Prickly Pear fiend' in paedo Moms name 'n' shame furor
The cactus liqueur is sometimes used as an elephant emetic and is London clubbers' top hallucinogen of choice

London, UK - Bob Geldof's 20-something daughter has been branded a bonkers zombie
addict of lethal Mexican Prickly Pear juice after tweeting some names in Lostprophets frontman Ian Watkins' paedo crimes trial in London this week.

Tabloid hacks reporting Watkins' paedo guilty plea received a tip-off that one of the witnesses accorded anonymity in the proceedings had been named by an 'intoxicated' Peaches Geldof as Barbara E Fig.

The story then went apeshit leading CPS lawyers to warn that Geldof's naming had thrown the whole damn due process out of the window, potentially leading to a mandatory mis-trial verdict.

Commenting on the fiasco a PR spokesperson for the troubled Ms G said it's all a big misunderstanding and the lovely lady had been misquoted:

"Peaches was just describing what it's like being smashed on the intoxicant made from the Mexican cactus Opuntia ficus-indica, otherwise known as the Barbary Fig or Prickly Pear," Melba Delecta from the FruitFive! Agency said this afternoon.

NB: the Barbary Fig species of cactus is a highly hallucinogenic crop plant vital to agricultural economies such as Ecuador and semiarid parts of South America. Users regularly go stark raving bonkers on account of high levels of plutonium derivatives.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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