Bachelor Show Defends Next Season's Choice

Written by Moe Nightwalker

Friday, 22 November 2013

WIth the decline of in popularity of the show "The Bachelor", the show's producers were struggling to selection a man for next season. They proudly announced their choice on Thursday.

The show decided to explain the choice before announcing him. The following are his strengths which lead to his selection:

1. He is available and doesn't even talk to his ex-girlfriend so he is unlikely to go back with her.
2. He defends and protects others and leads his neighborhood watch program.
3. He strongly supports state and federal laws and criminals know it. He even refused to support his wife (now ex-wife) when she committed a crime. She sat alone in the courtroom.
4. He is passionate and expresses his feelings and desires like a new age man. His ex-girlfriend can attest to this trait.

The producers of "The Bachelor" are proud to announce their 2014 choice: George Zimmerman.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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