Carol Burnett Wins Mark Twain Award!

Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 22 October 2013


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Not a bit distracted by a naked Tim Conway running around the stage being pursued by ushers, Carol Burnett was honored recently by receiving the Mark Twain Award for 50 years of comedy.

"Tim could break up Harvey Korman every time but he wasn't so successful with me. I could always....Ppppffffftt look away."

"Has he been castrated or what? Pffffft! It..ha ha ha! It took me 80 years to come to this point in my life and HAH HAH HAH! I am nut going
to let him screw this up."

"Screw it up, I said. What with? Hah Hah Hah! He couldn't manage to..never mind!"

Then she looked up and yelled. "I got the award LUCY! You ever get this? Who's the famous redhead now?"

"I wonder......did Tim hurt himself? He took quite a fall. I heard the blast way up here. I wonder if Fred Mertz ran around the stage naked while Lucy got her Award IF she got one."

Burnette, who started her career with The Gary Moore Show and spent 60 of her 80 year's on stage, drew a huge applause from the audience and a standing ovation until she could no longer talk, merely nodded her head, held up the Award and walked across the stage falling over a doctor working over an unconscious still-nude Tim Conway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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