Lizzie Borden: A Soulmate for Aaron Hernandez

Written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 10 October 2013

FALL RIVER, MA- In court the alleged killer looked angelic, like another killer who dominated the news in the same jurisdiction a century ago.

Aaron Hernandez was in a Fall River, Mass., courtroom, and he looked dapper and svelte in a blue tie and face without a crease of worry. The hearing covered half a dozen motions, mostly about gagging reporters who make up anything they can't find out legitimately.

We feel half-guilty for ridiculing Hernandez and speculating about the other half. However, we aren't about to stop. We never cite law enforcement sources, as police never want to give us the time of day.

Polite, affable, and even deferential, the judge in the case might look like she'd hang Hernandez, but the prosecutors want her off the case. She seemed rather predisposed to sweet looking Aaron, and she even allowed the bailiff to remove those nasty hand shackles while he sat in court.

His eyes sought out someone in the back room of spectators: it could have been either one of the two witches away from their boiling cauldron. We aren't sure who is witchier: Hernandez's mother or his Shayanna whose looks could kill. Or at least turn you to stone.

Under oath on the stand, Hernandez spoke softly about his attorney having a conflict of interest. That's the least of his problems. If the lawyer will work on the cheap, you know Aaron will keep him. This legal mess is likely costing him whatever is left of that overlarge New England Patriot salary.

You have to be aware of those Fall River courtrooms. They are dens of innocence. The last highly celebrated trial resulted in a verdict of not guilty in Fall River, though everyone thought the murderer was guiltier than sin.

In case you forgot: Lizzie Borden also came across as a gentle lady of sweet distemper. She beat the rap. And, now Aaron Hernandez has taken a page out of the Lizzie Borden booklet.

Instead of forty whacks, Hernandez prefers five or six shots from a semi-automatic. History is a wonderful barometer of society, and it's repeating like a missing weapon gone amuck.

Lizzie would have loved Aaron.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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